Inner Teen Challenge Day 1
⚠️Trigger Warning: Mental Health, Drug Use, Alcohol Use. Take care of yourself. ⚠️
For this Inner Teen Challenge I decided to use my Light Seer Tarot and Sacred Creator Oracle Decks both by Chris-Anne.
My Light Seer deck is one of my decks that only reads for me. It doesn’t like to be used when I am reading for other people. I have decks that LOVE to read for other people, but this deck is just not one of them. In fact, the Sacred Creator Oracle LOVES to read for other people. I will sometimes bring it out at the end of sessions to pull a clarifier or to just put a button on the entire reading. It’s really lovely like that.
Day 1 asks: Why is my inner teen upset? ( or raging? )
Oracle:
I pulled “Fill your cup with sacred giggles”
The guidebook does talks about needing closure and unresolved issues. This oracle deck is coming in hot and being very direct. There is a lot that is unresolved from my teenage years. I have many friends who feel nostalgia being a teen and wish they can go back to a time when they have little to no responsibilities and had the freedom to just live. I did not have that experience.
I cannot remember a time when I didn’t have to be responsible, where I didn’t have to be wary of someone else. I always had to be mindful of what other people thought. I had to act just so because if I was childlike or even teen like it would just be a cascading effect of failures. I had to make sure that things were running smoothly at all avenues.
I didn’t get to have a ton of experiences with friends and when I did it was borderline self-destructive behavior. For example, getting drunk and having inappropriate relationships with men who could get us into clubs so we could continue to get blackout drunk. (stories for other times)
The imagery of Sacred Giggles reminds me of what I possibly missed out on. Those foundational experiences of being a carefree teen. These are things that my inner teen is angry that she missed out on. We can see it in the clarifiers I pulled.
Clarifiers:
Page of Cups / 7 of Wands Reversed / 2 of Wands Reversed
My inner teen is raging because I had a lot of opportunities (Page of Cups) to open up to the world and show them who I can be, but the energy of the 7 of Wands Reversed had me feeling completely overwhelmed and I was completely winging in (2 of Wands Reversed.)
There are a lot of adults in my life that should have been there to be trusted adults and to guide me but because of a lot of circumstances, I was left to my own devices. I had to grow up quickly and figure out how the world worked. It is still something I am very conscious of. I didn’t get to be careful and explore like some of my peers did. I had to be home at a certain time to make sure there was dinner on the table.
The Work:
Something that I am working on is doing things for me, especially things that make me happy. There are things we all have to do to survive, buy groceries, pay rent, and the like, but to do something for yourself that you deeply enjoy is something that takes practice, here in end-stage capitalism America.
One of the things that I enjoy doing for myself is going to the candy store and buying myself candy. It seems like such a little thing but it is something I remember promising myself when I was 5. I wanted to make sure that when I was an adult. I would go to the candy store when I got paid and by myself some candy. This is something I do to help my inner child heal and make me happy.
The current work is what I should add to my routine that will make my inner teen happen. Day One highlighted that I still need to do things for myself. Not just for survival but for pleasure. I need to find more moments in my life to experience those sacred giggles. Carefree enjoyment of being alive. This is a task that I am willing to take on.
