Inner Teen Challenge Day 2

Day 2 asks:

What do I do that shuts my inner teen out?

The Oracle:

I pulled: The Sacred Flow of Yes.

I learned much later in life how to say no to people. It’s still something I am struggling with, but I would always say yes to people. Even if I was sick, even if I really didn’t want to do something. I felt that I needed to say yes to other people and ignore my own needs. Saying yes to other people in spite of my own needs was detrimental to my own health. I ended up in the hospital 4 times in my 20s because I pushed myself so much because I didn’t want to disappoint people. I thought that saying no to people and disappointing them was the worse thing in the world.

Recently, especially since the beginning of the pandemic, I have learned that making sure that I am 100% first will help me do my best. My best is also not about being the best for someone else, its being the best for myself.

The Clarifiers:

Judgement / 2 of Cups Reversed / 4 of Swords

I love the art on this Judgement card. To me in symbolizes the two parts of me. The more I listen to myself and my needs the more I grow into who I am suppose to be. Judgement can be a harsh card sometimes, but I spend so much of my time judging myself by other peoples metrics that now it is time to do it for myself.

2 of Cups Reversed reminds me that some of my choices that I may not be proud of were still made by someone who I no longer am. While they might not have been the best choices they were still developmentally appropriate and even situationally appropriate. I had a finite amount of resources as a teen and I used what I needed to to get by.

4 of Swords reminds me that I deserve rest. My teenage self didn’t take advantage of rest. She thought rest was for the weak. She couldn’t say no to rest because that would just disappoint people. That wasn’t something that she could do. It would pain her.

The Work:

Making sure that I am taking time for me is so important. If I cannot have time for me to do what I want in the week, I start saying no to other people. “Sorry I cannot help you with that today. I am busy. “ is a phrase I am still getting comfortable with saying. Taking time for me to recharge is incredibly important. I don’t have to rush to accomplish all the things, especially accomplishing things for others. The way I am my best is when I take care of myself.