Inner Teen Challenge Day 3 & 4
Day 3 asks: Why do I ignore my Inner Teen?
The Oracle:
I pulled “Unstick the Stuck”
Scarcity Mentality is something I have struggled to move forward from. This is a “skill” I learned as a teen. I needed to do things for others because I was scared of losing them. I thought my value to others was my only value. I needed to remind useful to them in order for them to care about me. If I wasn’t useful to someone I thought I would cease being known as a friend.
In adulthood, this made it really easy for me to be a workaholic. I needed to prove to employees that I was worthy to keep around, which is probably the way to be successful in capitalism. There have been a number of organizations that have flipped out when I decided I was going to move on because they knew that I was the only person that knew how to do my job. I frequently overperformed because I made my job my entire personality.
As day 2 suggested, I need to find the time to rest, and having a scarcity mentality does not help with that.
Clarifiers:
The Magician / High Priestess Reversed / 2 of Pentacles
By not taking that time for myself I am not open to being the most magical person I can be. I lost myself in my work. I was so worried about what other people thought of me I didn’t pay attention to what I thought of myself. (the High Priestess Rx) I was living for someone else, someplace else and there really has been no sense of balance (2 of Pentacles) in my life. By
The Work:
“Unsticking the Stuck” and moving beyond that mentality frees me up for other things. Like living my life for me.
Day 4
Day 4 asks: What unhealthy do I let them engage in?
The Oracle:
In Balance
I think this really ties in to day 3. I need more balance in my life and because my self worth was tied into what I was worth to others for so long it created an imbalance. However, since its something I learned when I was young I do take an odd sense of comfort in it. Choosing myself is an active choice. Being “selfish” is something I have to consciously choose everyday and when I don’t I slip back into the habits of being a workaholic. I slip back into making others happy first over myself. Throwing myself into the lives of others and into work makes it so I don’t have time to focus on myself.
Clarifiers:
Page of Wands Reversed / Ace of Cups / Justice
Letting myself settled into the comfort of my limiting beliefs is something that I need to move pass. (Page of Wands Reversed) I have so much to offer the world by just being me. (Ace of Cups) but I cannot endlessly pour out of mine into someone else’s. I need to find the balance.
The Work:
I need to confront what makes me hide behind giving to others (Justice) so I can feel comfortable both giving and receiving.
