Reputation Era
Oh, haiiii Queen of Swords.
Going from 5 of Cups to Queen of Swords. I confronted a lot of things about myself in February and March is all about that Queen of Swords energy. That is quite an upswing.
The Queen of Swords is that bad bitch energy of kicking ass and taking names. She is everything young Christie wanted to be. She is someone that current Christie tries to embodied every day. I am in charge of my life. I am in charge of my experiences.
Having this energy can be a very delicate situation because you don't want to come off as too emotionless. My Pisces Moon cannot handle being perceived as emotionless. I need to show you my feelings!!
Ways that I can show up with this energy is by being confident that I know what I am doing. My confidence is frequently shaken by my own self-doubts. Standing up for myself is something standing up to myself.
Setting boundaries is something that I have had trouble with. I was never allowed to set my own boundaries as a child. Being put into situations where I was just suppose to be seen a not heard. I didn’t have a lot of choices as a child, we seldom do. We think its for the child’s benefit that we don’t tell them whats going on, that they are too young to understand, but that is not always the case. Usually it is because we have trouble to put into words whats going on. We aren’t ready to let the kids know what is going on and we place our discomfort on them.
What this did to me was made me learn to question my own judgement. I knew exactly was going on when it was going on but all the adults around me were lying or omitting the truth. Clearly it was because I couldn’t be trusted and if I couldn’t be trusted then how could I be trusted now? It sent me spiraling in my early 20s. I trusted people over my own instincts and its taken a lot for me to get over my people pleasing habit. Acquising to the whims of others, because I thought I needed to trust them over myself.
Last month, with the 5 of Cups it was about recognizing and accepting this flaw. Now March begins me to living comfortably in who I am and what I am about with no apologies.
